the bellewether state

The Times They Are A-Changin'

2009-09-06T17:06:00.005-04:00

It's been a lovely education for me on this platform. I started blogging a little over a year ago because I couldn't drone on and bore my friends to death 'with all the unborn chicken voices in my head.' Word to Thom Yorke (see Paranoid Android lyrics).

Blogging has been an awesome space, a meta-space if you will, to explore trends, politics, art, ideas that I obsess over daily. As I write my novel, the blog has been an awesome respite, allowing me to sort through themes in the blog space. It's another space for my creative process.

Sometimes I try to add more to our conversation about these times we live in. I think I've succeeded in some areas; I'm sure I haven't other times.

All of this is to say that The Bellewether State is moving from Blogger to Wordpress.

Beginning September 7, 2009, you can find me at http://bellewetherstate.com.

Can't think of a better way to begin a new cycle than Labor Day.

Change is good.

Rhythm Nation - MJ Dance Party in Prospect Park 8.29.09

2009-09-04T14:45:00.003-04:00

The County of Kings represented for the King of Pop. Rain and barricades couldn't keep this crowd back. All ages, all colors, all... getting together to celebrate the music and life of the King of Pop on his 51st Birthday. It was bittersweet. These lyrics ran through my head like a tape:

We're Sendin' Out
A Major Love
And This Is Our
Message To You
The Planets Are Linin' Up
We're Bringin' Brighter Days
They're All In Line
Waitin' For You
Can't You See . . .?
You're Just Another Part Of Me . .

For my part, it was hard to decide between dancing or taking pics. Not sure this small offering of images can do justice to the spirit of the people of Brooklyn in the park last Saturday. But if you weren't there, here's some highlights from DJ Spinna and Spike Lee's Party Saturday in Prospect Park.

See and download the full gallery on posterous

Posted via email from bellewetherstate's posterous

Public Option Hullabaloo 2.0

2009-09-03T15:06:00.001-04:00

I signed one of those petitions to support the public option. I feel really strongly about it. There was a space for a note to POTUS. I doubt he'll read it personally, but I'm so peeved about the affair, I might have gone a little overboard.

Dear President Obama,

While I respect your team’s efforts to work with Congress and the Health Care Industry to develop mechanisms for reform and regulation, I must again reiterate my support for a public option. I'm not clear on what we gain if there isn't a mechanism that allows for uninsured, self-employed, freelancers to buy affordable health coverage that allows for preventive care.

I'll never regret my vote for you and your team, but I need you guys to 'man up' and push reform through that will benefit my generation. I'm 35 years old, unemployed, uninsured, now freelancer, with a pre-existing condition. This pre-existing condition is treatable, however, the medication is $300 a month, which well exceeds my budget at present.

I’m not sure how we find ourselves in this class and ideological warfare with our fellow Americans. However, my mind is on the future, my generation and the one behind me that will carry the burden of an over-bloated system that seems to support deep corporate interests rather than the welfare of communities. I’m not sure how our value system became so skewed that our choices are to include a bill that covers tort reform to limit recourse for patients who have legitimate complaints against negligent doctors. I’m not sure how we’ve come to accept that the only way uninsured can secure treatment is to go to the emergency room where they will incur costs that far exceed a modest premium if a public option existed. I’m not sure how we’re the only westernized nation in the world that refuses to acknowledge that quality health care is critical to the growth and health of a nation. I’m not sure how, with relative ease it seemed, we went to war with a nation for which we had no legitimate quarrel, and committed countless dollars to support it. I’m not sure how we failed to recognize in doing so, we would be engaged in nation building for probably the next twenty years. I’m not sure how we haven’t made the connection that our bloated national debt mirrors our values and our belief that we can leverage debt personal and communal without consequence. I’m not sure how we got here. But we’re here. You said we’re the ones we’ve been waiting for. Well, here we are. We are at the most critical ideological crossroad here. I’m not in office so I don’t have the power to push key legislators like Baucus, among others to do right by us. You do. You’re the leader of the party; you’re the leader of our nation.

We can do this. I need you to be my fiercest advocate to get this done. Or at the very least, sell me on how an alternative to the public option will actually help me purchase affordable health insurance without relying an employer.

With respect and grave concern,

Syreeta McFadden

Native of Wisconsin, Resident of New York

Posted via email from bellewetherstate's posterous

August 29, 2009

2009-08-29T20:45:00.001-04:00

Today an interesting split of emotions. It is the 51st birthday of the King of Pop. It is the funeral of the Lion of the Senate.

I wasn't alone in sharing these feelings.

These are a couple of images from the DJ Spinna/Spike Lee Tribute to Michael Jackson in Prospect Park, Brooklyn today.

More later.

See and download the full gallery on posterous

Posted via email from bellewetherstate's posterous

Design of Decade #4

2009-08-28T11:54:00.001-04:00

via youtube.com

By now, most people should know that I love Radiohead more than... maybe more than Biggie.

This track is from Amnesiac, which was released in June 2001. I've listened to this track over an embarrassing amount of times. But that's not the point, the point is that this week is the first time I ever watched this video. And I'm so surprised that my imagination of the sound and movement with this song mirrors the action with the video. I imagined a figure reversing in space, and spirals of light.

I'm writing about post 9/11 New York. It's challenging. A lot of writers have tried and will continue to try to write a record of our lives during this period. I can't think of a better soundtrack to write to in order to tease out meaning in our lives then and now.

This is entry #4 of my design of decade collection of material that lives in the muck of my consciousness.

Posted via web from bellewetherstate's posterous

Design of Decade #3

2009-08-26T10:37:00.001-04:00

via youtube.com

It's the fourth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. This is a clip from the documentary Trouble The Water. If you haven't seen this film, you should Netflix it now. It's an intimate narrative that centers around a husband and wife with home video of those waters that overtook the Ninth Ward when the levees failed.

Posted via web from bellewetherstate's posterous

Of Boabab Trees, Nutrition, and Marketing #365black

2009-08-24T14:15:00.001-04:00

via eclecticmenagerie.com

Does anyone remember seeing this? From Boondocks, July 23, 2005.

Posted via web from bellewetherstate's posterous

"So live, that you might desire to live again…

2009-08-24T10:35:00.001-04:00

Eternity is worth it… Let us stamp the form of eternity upon our lives… This life is your eternal life." - Nietzsche

Woke up thinking about eternal recurrence and The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera.

"If eternal return is the heaviest of burdens, then our lives can stand out against it in all their splendid lightness.

But the heaviest of burdens crushes us, we sink beneath it, it pins us to the ground. But in the love poetry of every age, the woman longs to be weighed down by the man's body. The heaviest of burdens is therefore simultaneously an image of life's most intense fulfillment. The heavier the burden the closer our lives come the earth, the more real and truthful they become.

Conversely, the absolute absence of a burden causes man to be lighter than air, to soar into heights, take leave of the earth and his earthly being and become only half real, his movements as free as they are insignificant.

What then shall we choose? Weight or lightness?... The only certainty is: the lightness/weight opposition is the most mysterious, most ambiguous of all."

This book changed my life.

Posted via email from bellewetherstate's posterous

My Mad Men Obsession Continues...

2009-08-19T22:50:00.009-04:00

I just caught up to the rest of the world and I saw this Vanity Fair article on Mad Men.

Honestly, I've not read the article yet because I'm loving the photographs. I mean, seriously, just look at them:

Annie Liebovitz's photos are stunning. Sort of a Norman Rockwell throwback quality to them. These images are a little genteel by comparison. However, if you can dig back into your memory, or perhaps you might have missed W Magazine's photo essay with Brad and Angelina.

Both sets are extremely narrative. However, Steven Klein's photos show a menace in marriage that lies beneath the surface. There's a softer hint of tension with the images of Mad Men protagonists, Betty and Don. I love both sets. I think by default, my generation is still captured by the imagination of life in 1960s America.

I don't know. I've been thinking about marriage a lot lately, particularly because I'm revising a short story of my own that has a character looking side-eyed at it.

Maybe it's time to read more Yates.

Woodstock Music and Art Fair, August 15-18, 1969

2009-08-18T22:55:00.002-04:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, Richie Havens' Freedom.

Health Care Reform Debate Round-Up

2009-08-18T15:29:00.004-04:00

DSC_4408, originally uploaded by indigo_belle (bellewetherstate).

Yesterday, I kind of lost my shit on Twitter about Health Care Reform.

I shared with the twitterverse and now here, that I worked as an intern for Senator Russ Feingold (D, WI) during summer of 1994. As most of you may remember, that was round one of the Health Care Reform debate. That summer left a mark on my psyche, so much so that I mention it perhaps a bit much. It taught me a lot about how important it is to be an active citizen, pushing your representatives to act courageously on your behalf to shape policy.

And while I'm certain that I'm not alone in trying to tease out facts from rhetoric, I feel that I should be a little redundant and post some links that help anyone who comes across this post to get some informed insight that I found helpful. I'm unapologetically left leaning in my sources, but I'm loathed to find facts on the side of the right that merit posting.

The Atlantic Monthly.

Bob Herbert NYT Op-Ed.

Paul Krugman NYT Op-Ed.

The Rachel Maddow Show.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Rachel Maddow also points to Matt Taibbi's latest article in Rolling Stone.

Howard Dean at the Netroots Conference last week.

Michael Lux on the stategery.

President Obama's Op-Ed. Admittedly, his piece really is a plea for reform, but lacks specificity and the hard push that will lead to a Public Option.

Former Education Secretary Robert Reich.

My new favorite blog, PostBourgie simple and elegant summation.

My favorite MFA classmate also pointed me to the latest issue of Harpers, which for some unknown reason is trapped in the nether regions of snail mail.

I think if you believe in Health Care Reform, which really is a bill that's about regulation, it's worth taking the time to read these sources to help inform you on the debate. Admittedly, I got distracted by the squeaky wheels of the fringe parts of the conservative movement that I lost focus. And if we're truly entering a new generation of politics, and that our society is fully embracing a generational shift from the old order, then I must remember the wisdom from the 44th President of the United States, 'We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.'

I hope he remembers too.

I Want My Country Back

2009-08-12T23:11:00.002-04:00

Tea Party Protestor, Staten Island, NY - April 15, 2009, originally uploaded by indigo_belle.

I'm not sure which America she's talking about either.

To be honest, I find these town hall meetings distressing. Grown ass people are practically throwing tantrums over a social reform agenda that they'd in all likelihood would benefit from. Most of these folks appear to be part of a socio-economic class that gives them health care, but still would lack adequate coverage if they were inflicted with a serious illness.

Rachel Maddow did an excellent account of the strategy or, strategery behind these town hall disruptions. Reasonable people can see through the menagerie and recognize that this is in fact, a politically orchestrated effort.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

These details notwithstanding, it's still important to parse out language here.

This rally cry of 'I Want My Country Back', 'I Want My America Back' or some of my other favorite invocations, 'socialism', the Obama/Hitler analogies, ---the 'birthers', and good lord, the 'deathers'--- just drips with racism. I don't say this flippantly, but the supposed fringe parts of the conservative movement have invented so many ways to say nigger it's ridiculous. The language is loaded is white racism that it would be disingenuous of me not to acknowledge it.

However, in acknowledging racism in language is dangerous territory. When you're trying to coax people to the middle ground, acknowledging racism shuts down communication. People get tongue-tied and lock-jawed on old narratives. They get angry, hurt and defensive. They feel guilty. They stop listening. They act out. No one wants to be seen as a bad person. I think what I'm getting at is that intent behind words like socialist in relation to the Obama Administration's policies doesn't sit well. I'm not sure if these folks know what socialism is. I think these words get tossed around and sits on tips of tongues without full awareness of the historic implications behind them.

I'm not sold on health care reform as it stands either. I'm in desperate need of concrete details from Congress and the White House. But I live in a democracy. I understand that the point of town hall meetings provides me with access to my elected representatives to listen to differing points of view that may ultimately (or so I hope) influence public policy to the benefit of my community. Shouting down anyone to the point that nothing is discussed isn't free speech or democratic. It's stupid. It's selfish.

The left or anyone who was opposed to the Bush Administration certainly felt put out about the direction of the American experiment. I certainly felt that we were falling in a pattern that didn't represent the values that our nation purported to uphold. I protested the Iraq War, and I could look to the left and right of me and see a broad based coalition of like minded people who felt as I did. I don't imagine if town halls were held to levy support for the war six years ago, the left would be shouting down those who supported it. I don't think we'd burn Bush in effigy.

While I can appreciate opposition to health care reform and that the extremes of the opposition may very well constitute a minority of the total population, I cannot ignore the pejorative nature of their critique. There's bloodlust behind those words.

I want my country to find the middle ground.

Pastime Paradise

2009-08-10T14:01:00.002-04:00

Tea Party in New Dorp Staten Island, NY. April 15, 2009, originally uploaded by indigo_belle.

I posting this as a stub.

As I was reading this post by TNC, my iTunes DJ randomly landed on this classic track. I don't believe in coincidences. As the summer presses on, and our national debate centers around flash point issues of health care reform and race. Within those two issues are layered complexities of class and the shadow side of our American heritage.

I can't remember who said it last year during the campaign, if it was a pundit, an analyst or Michelle Obama, but with advent of Candidate and President Obama, someone said, 'Now we'll find out how racist this country really is.' That sentiment loops through my head as I try to sort through the barrage information and misinformation.

If you haven't watched Alexandra Pelosi's documentary, I think it's worth at least a once over. I don't feel that she necessarily presented these folks in the most objective light, but given the growing populist right resentment towards a reform agenda government complicated by their racial animus, maybe she wasn't so far off.

There's a fine line between discourse and disruption. A fine line between civil disobedience and sociopathy.

More later.

The Social Contract

2009-08-04T20:09:00.008-04:00

It's a common thread in the narrative of black and brown people in America.

Bob Herbert's column in the Times today highlights some key points. Police interaction with communities of color, and people of color, cuts to the marrow. It doesn't matter if you're Ivy league educated or the average street negro, all brown boys in America have a story about being pulled over or stopped by cops simply because the color of their skin. It's more than a scene in an Oscar winning film.

Over the weekend, I found that we were still talking about it. Over brunch, another friend expressed her rage as best a poet can, saying simply, 'Am I to believe then, that their blue line is worth more than my blood?' An implied deference to law enforcement, without any accountablity to the people they are sworn to serve and protect seems to violate the social contract. Or should I infer from all of these stories that we were never party to that social contract?

Again, I could put it to rest, but then I came across this in my readings today. From Ross Gay's collection of poems, Against Which,(Cavankerry Press, 2006). I'm hoping he doesn't mind my posting it here. It struck nerves.

Pulled Over in Short Hills, NJ 8:00AM

It's the shivering. When rage grows
hot as an army of red ants and forces
the mind to quiet the body, the quakes
emerge, sometimes just the knees,
but, at worst, through hips, chest, neck,
until, like a virus, slipping inside the lungs
and pulse, every ounce of strength tapped
to squeeze words from my taut lips,
his eyes scanning my car's insides, my eyes,
my license, and as I answer the questions
3, 4, 5 times, my jaw tight as a vice,
his hands massaging the gun butt, I
imagine things I don't want to
and inside beg this to end
before the shiver catches my
hands, and he sees,
and something happens.

Copyright © 2006 by Ross Gay

A Gentle Reminder

2009-08-03T13:38:00.002-04:00

"The Americans of all nations at any time upon the earth have probably the fullest poetical nature. The United States themselves are essentially the greatest poem. In the history of the earth hitherto the largest and most stirring appear tame and orderly to their ampler largeness and stir. Here at last is something in the doings of man that corresponds with the broadcast doings of the days and night. Here is not merely a nation but a teeming nation of nations."

-Walt Whitman

What's On My Mind

2009-08-03T11:24:00.002-04:00

At least according to Wordle:

'Teachable Moment'

2009-07-30T16:30:00.006-04:00

I think it was Malcolm X who had once said, 'You got to make them laugh in order to make them think.'

Last night, the Colbert Report tried to disambiguate the furor over Gates-gate.

The Colbert Report

Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

The Word - He Who Smelt It, Dealt It

www.colbertnation.com

Colbert Report Full Episodes

Political Humor

Tasers

The Word (flatulence, aside) picked apart why this drama struck nerves. The media frenzy over Obama, Gates and Crowley meeting for a beer, is frankly annoying. And to borrow, POTUS's word (sans modifier), stupid. The amount of minutes devoted to trying to pick apart what racism and racist means in our culture in lieu of real reporting time to present useful details about the health care reform bill is the real tragedy.

You can't cure cancer with a coke and a smile.

A Beautiful Mine

2009-07-28T23:40:00.009-04:00

Mad Men Season 3 Premiere is a short but distant two and half weeks away.

AMC's website has an awesome interactive program that for a fan like me, was irresistible.

The cultural history is layered. It's doubtful you'd see someone like me, even in my Mad Men avatar, move so freely in that space without it signifying some aspect of the past social contract. But it's nice to imagine that animated me could be patron in a bar, rather than server. It's a period of history I'd rather pretend never existed, and skip to the good part, when we got civil rights and I get to experience integration and live in a 'post racial' society. However, Weiner's drama is still compelling. The nuanced day to day interactions of race, gender and class in what we can now refer to as modern America, are so exquisitely rendered that I can't help but watch the show as if it were a cultural document. For our post-modern, 'post-racial' society, it's an interesting history to watch unfold week to week, a close examination of how far we've come in our own narratives, and a reminder of how far we still have to go.

As a writer, I find Don Draper, Betty Draper and Peggy Olson fascinating. I grew up poor, so suburban ennui, unhappy marriages, or inhibited women are fascinating for me. The women in all of these narratives seemed to be silently screaming. The tension was building last season with the women. Over drinks last weekend, three very liberated women (me and my friends) got to discuss the implications of psychotherapy from that era. We were trying to convince our friend that she needed to get caught up on the show; we were talking of the scene where Betty's psychologist talks to Don about what Betty discussed in therapy earlier. A detail that we found alarming. It was such a common practice, no one questioned it, until 1970. A lawsuit created what we've come to accept culturally as doctor-client privilege.

It just makes me want to reread John Cheever and Richard Yates. Maybe Patricia Highsmith, too. It also makes me want to listen to RJD2 on repeat.

Go Mad Men Yo'self.

Public Option Now

2009-07-27T15:57:00.002-04:00

Health Care Reform Rally - Washington, DC. June 25, 2009, originally uploaded by indigo_belle.

It should be restated again. We need health care reform now.

For one, like MSM, I got distracted by the Gates-gate episode. Following this very complex conversation or rather deconstruction about race, class, authority, law, free speech, and frankly, a story of two 'reasonable' men clashed which escalated about who's member is bigger than the other, was riveting.

It's already been said by many more wiser writers and minds than me; that Obama's presser last week that the real message of the urgency of the need for reform was buried in the MSM coverage of a seemingly gaffe by POTUS.

I've been trying to synthesize my thoughts about the bubbling race in America today question for weeks now. I had a rather random post that was only to function as a primer for me to redress late. I felt something was coming. I just wasn't expecting it to come in the form of segregated pools, excessive force/abuse of power cases, and the death of a pop icon.

Again, I digress.

I also started to draft a post about my recent trip to DC to lobby for reform. Particularly, I wanted highlight the people I met and why they were willing to bake in the late June heat, to push for reform and a public option. A few real life things happened that got in the way of that for me. And then my uncle died. I don't meant to make him out to be some sort of martyr, but the significance of his passing and the health care debate cross hairs for me. He was diagnosed with stage four cancer in March. He didn't have health insurance. It wasn't provided to him through his job. I can't help but wonder if there were a public option, would he have been able to seek medical attention months, years ago for a stomach problem that he could have easily dismissed as indigestion. He stopped treatment in June. Apparently he lived an expectantly longer life than any doctor would have conceived. He had a pre-existing condition that complicated his treatment with chemo. As my mother explained to me this past weekend, he had a childhood disease that should have been terminal. And it's apparently genetic. The irony, if you want to call it that, is that my uncle may have saved the life of his children with the discovery of this disease that was responsible for the complicating treatment that would've prolonged his life. I'm still trying to wrap my head around that.

The other story that seems to get lost is the face of the uninsured. It's an issue beyond black, white and class. 43 million Americans do not have health insurance. I've heard reported (trying to verify) that the number of uninsured Americans under the age of 30 constitute the large part of that number. A detail that I don't find too surprising. The low skilled worker, or the recent college graduate who have entry level jobs often are, for lack of a better word, shafted. Ask any bright, young thing who's employed by a publishing house, magazine, or advertising company to someone who's working as a janitor, security guard, or retail clerk. Do they have adequate health coverage, if any? Would a public option help small businesses who factor fringe benefits in employee compensation? Would small businesses be able to expand and hire more workers? Would that aid in our economic recovery?

I think Obama failed to explain these facts in a way that can incite urgency among everyone. MSM failed in deconstructing the argument in digestible bits that would push the conversation beyond what polls supposedly say about what Americans want: deficit reduction.

I'm biased of course. I'm part of a Venn Diagram of constituencies that's affected by this. I want a public option. I'm a bright, young, African American, thirtysomething that would love the independence of not relying on an employer to provide health care coverage. I'd also love a system that would make it affordable so that people like my uncle can seek and receive care in instances where their employer can't afford to provide them coverage. I'd also like for the forces that claim to read tea leaves through polls realize that my biggest care in the world is not the growth of the American deficit. I do care about it. But I'm a member of the generation that will carry the burden of many debts. I'm still researching the data, but my impression is that the national debt will increase with reform and without reform. I'd like to hear a sound debate about the rate of that growth if we don't reform our entitlement programs now.

It's food for thought.

Picturing Themselves

2009-07-21T13:29:00.002-04:00

This is an excellent post about women and their role in the Iranian Revolution from Tehran Bureau.

Women are so prominent in this movement, from mothers surrounding the men during protests to shield them from police and the attacks from the basij. There's a strong feminine energy here.

I'm still following this. I hope everyone else is too.

Moonwalker

2009-07-20T14:29:00.004-04:00

I don’t think I knew it until I was washing the dishes this morning that I’ve been mad at Michael Jackson for years about Billie Jean.

Seriously.

Like everyone, I was listening to Thriller on repeat upon hearing of his death. In 1982, washing the dishes was one of my household chores. I was eight. Billie Jean was playing on the radio and I finally listened to words of the song and got it.

Who was Billie Jean anyway?

Somewhere, the synapses crossed and I think my eight-year-old brain rationalized that Michael, like my dad, or gave my dad a reason to pretend that I wasn’t actually his daughter.

The first time I called my father daddy, he looked me square in the eyes and told me never to call him daddy because I wasn’t his daughter. I understood and didn’t understand simultaneous. Because I looked like him. I had a space in my teeth like he did. No one on my mother’s side, including my mother had a space between their teeth. Their teeth were perfect. I thought he was kidding. He wasn’t. I think I got angry, because I knew it didn’t logically make sense. He certainly acted like he was my father, so why say some ish like that? Then I thought it must be because it made him feel old to have a daughter. Then I felt some sympathy. I mean no one wants to feel old. It smelled like ben gay, collard greens and mold. At least that’s how I imagined old to feel.

Everyone and their mother loved Billie Jean. I couldn’t tell if it was because it was a good song or simply because of Michael’s deft gravity reversing soft shoe push across the stage and then subsequent toe stand as a ballet dancer. I didn’t like it. I actually hated the song until I made myself love it. I listened to the words, the heavy blues guitar riff, that sounded full of a world of deep delta troubles. Now I can hear Muddy Waters all up in and out of Billie Jean. I’m not sure how as a child I understood the meaning of the song. Maybe it was the hook, ‘the kid is not my son.’ The contradiction in the narrative, ‘eyes were just like mine. Wanna dance on the floor and around.’ The hazy hindsight of one-night stands and adult relationships stirring some rationalization in eight year old me.

In other words, I was pissed. I knew where babies come from. My mom was pregnant with my sister and my father was around and then not. And in the summer of 1982 while I was doing the dishes, he tried to teach me how to moonwalk. He seemed to have grasped the mechanics. It was a soft shoe push backwards. Small steps. All we needed was the smoothed and scuffed surface of the kitchen floor. Maybe a little of the soapy suds from the sink where I was doing the dishes to help with our torsion, motion backwards, like Armstrong. ‘That was how he did it,’ my father, excuse me, Gerald, explained. I did get it for all of five minutes maybe less. Under a heavy bass guitar blues riff, pushing my one foot after the other backwards, a small step for mankind with this man who looked like me and was not of me, yet was everything to me.

Now I realize it may seem weird to be secretly resentful of Michael for a song. Even odder to me that this is thing I’m thinking about today on the fortieth anniversary of the moon landing.

I guess this is how memory works. Fragments of the familiar link back together in space.

MJ Legacy, Ctd.

2009-07-14T13:16:00.003-04:00

For those of you aren't aware, Jay Smooth's Illdoctrine video blog often offers the most insightful discourse on issues and themes in the hip hop world as well as pop culture.

His most recent post about MJ offers a deconstruction I haven't heard too many places except in the comfort of my circle of friends, artists, writers.

It seems to me that mainstream media and its pundits, missed an opportunity to examine this hyper-reality that has manifested in our culture over the past 25 years or so. We watched Michael for nearly four generations in my family. You can't say that about many pop stars. And I don't think any of us thought about the kind of spiritual and emotional toll that takes on a person who is constantly watched, living in a meta-reality, between worlds, personal and public.

Disambiguation, Redux

2009-07-13T13:30:00.006-04:00

Toni Morrison shared some wisdom about language, culture, and writing at a talk about a month or so ago. I've watched it a few times. She hit some nerves for me that have been swimming in my head for years. Blogs, Twitter, SMS text messages, hyperlinks... all of these things that allow us to move and share information faster, regardless of quality is unprecedented.

Watching some of the opening statements for the Sotomayor confirmation hearings, I found myself returning again to this video:

The key point? There's a difference between discourse and information. Literature, more specifically the novel, in this age will still act as a vehicle to organize information and human emotion. As Morrison says, 'the novel can be a body of knowledge.'

I'm still processing, sorting, filtering, organizing...

Flatbush and Ocean Avenues

2009-07-07T18:47:00.002-04:00

Happy Fourth of July

2009-07-04T10:44:00.002-04:00

Writing on The Wall 2.0

2009-07-03T12:27:00.002-04:00

DSC_4298, originally uploaded by indigo_belle.

BET Doesn't Care About Black People

2009-07-02T18:30:00.007-04:00

'George Bush doesn't care about Black people.' That was Kanye West. Remember? He blurted that out in a moment of honest frustration with the Bush Administration's blunder at providing relief to victims in the Gulf. Network media cut to commercial fast during the Hurricane Katrina benefit. We all know what happened or didn't happen after that.

Fast forward to 2009 and the BET Awards. We all in the African American community had great expectations for a proper send up for Michael Jackson from America's only Black network.

*Le sigh*

Writer and Comedian, Elon James White, goes where no prominent African American leader or entertainer will ever go.

This is effin' hilarious.

Canonization

2009-06-30T14:55:00.003-04:00

We danced hard.

We watched him. We studied those moves. We studied those moves like our lives depended on it. We succeeded and failed. I had no rhythm in 1982. Eight year old me struggled to copy those moves. In third grade at Golda Meir Elementary, we had a talent show and a group of us practiced a dance routine to You Wanna Be Startin Something. I was the weakest link. I danced like the Tin Man in the Wiz, even though I always adored the limberness of the Scarecrow.

I remained a fan but kept it closed to the vest.

My late friend Peter had a saying, 'Sometimes, you just gotta dance out your demons.' He picked up from watching an episode of Charmed. I used to mock him, but I still accepted the underlying wisdom.

I've been watching old videos of Michael like everyone else has over the past few days. A few videos come to mind, Beat It, Jam, Black or White and the seminal work, Thriller. Watching Michael's dance solo at the end of the Black or White video (beg at 6:32) I can't help but feel he was dancing out demons. He morphs from panther to man dancing fluid, masculine, and wild, then back to panther.

Michael was Matrix before the Wachowski Brothers dreamed it.

What were those demons? Only time will tell us the full extent. We saw evidence of them over the years, never quite grasping his metamorphosis from black man to indeterminately ethnic. Perhaps it was a hybrid of love and hate for mankind that compelled him to make his body a template to teach us something. That we are one people, beyond artificial lines of color. I did see that. However, I also saw a soul in crisis, sacrificed to us for contempt and ridicule.

I did eventually figure out how to dance. It was in 1991. Shit was pretty bad then for me, but this song may have saved my life. Flexibility and abandon came when I finally let go and surrendered myself to pulse of the music. And the body memory of those moves revealed themselves to me.

Sometimes, you gotta dance it out.

Only now, I realize that I turn to his songs to help me deal. In his voice, the rage at injustice, poverty, racism, all the things that divide us vibrate underneath his songs. I connected to that. It's the equivalent of a primal scream for me. Growing up in '80s and '90s America and being black were challenging times. My family struggled during those times. My parents couldn't afford to buy me a Thriller jacket. We ate government cheese. I was lucky to score an old copy of Right On to clip pictures and pullout posters of El Debarge, Michael Jackson, and Prince. There were drugs. There was crime. There were senseless deaths. There was hunger.

Things that make you wanna holler. Or scream.

It seems to me Michael came from a musical tradition to give voice to those struggles. Marvin Gaye's What's Going On begot Stevie Wonder's Innervisions and Songs in the Key of Life, begot the Jackson's Can You Feel It, begot We are the World begot Man in the Mirror, which begot Heal The World.

He was an artist.

He used music to give voice to our shared frustrations, local and global. He also gave us hope. He entertained us. His videos challenged convention and elevated story. He merged forms revolutionized dance as means of communication. He reminded us that there is ecstasy and joy in dance.

He held his crotch because when you have Kundalini energy moving through you, you gotta try to harness it.

Shiva is known also as the cosmic dancer. It is said that Shiva's dance manifested in two forms, gentle and violent. Shiva dances to destroy, create and build again. Watching Michael, I can't help but wonder if that was the energy he was trying to manifest in his fluid motions, pirouettes, pops and locks, gravity defying leans and moonwalks. Michael broke down old forms and barriers in everything and birthed something new.

He was a deeper creative spirit than I had originally imagined. It seems clearer to me now as I look back on all those years with adult eyes. Michael was a student of history and culture. It didn't seem obvious to me growing up, but now, I'm a better student. I've studied other cultures and their dances, and I understand now what Michael was trying to show us.

I weep for yet another marker of the end of my childhood. Nothing lasts forever. It sucks that sometimes you have to lose something to realize how much really had.

But I'll never forget the dance. I'll shake my body onto the ground as if all of creation depended on it.

They Don't Care About Us

2009-06-30T10:06:00.003-04:00

I'm not alone in seeing the connection.

The person who posted this originally created it before MJ's passing. If anyone denies Michael Jackson's reach, message and legacy. I encourage you to look at the video.

Warning: These images contain graphic content and may not be suitable to minors.

The world is watching.

Grand Street and Lexington Avenue

2009-06-30T10:05:00.003-04:00

Michael Jackson 1958-2009

2009-06-25T23:37:00.001-04:00

May you find peace in the afterlife that evaded you in this life.

Gates Avenue and Downing Street

2009-06-23T23:03:00.002-04:00

Mad World

2009-06-16T15:00:00.003-04:00

Huge Rally in Support Of Mousavi, Tehran, originally uploaded by mousavi1388.

I feel their sense of urgency. And I'm hopeful for their success in achieving self determination as a society. The people deciding who represents them. It's not so much about the who's the best leader for the Islamic Republic of Iran. It's about respect for the process, the structure of the civil society itself. Mousavi is symbol now. I don't think we'll ever come to know what kind of leader he would be. But these protests do show that the people were seeking an alternative to Ahmadinejad, a leader that could be a vehicle for reform within their society. And the system failed them.

Remember 1989? There's a weird symmetry in history. Deja vu all over again. I remember feeling the same desperate sense of urgency and hope and dread for the students in Tiananmen Square in June 1989. I was a tween then, but I understood the longing of an oppressed people challenging the system. Later when we started high school that same year, two German tourists spoke to my world history class and talked about the shifts they were feeling then in their own country. I asked them a question that I felt in bones. I asked them if they thought the Wall would come down. I still remember his facel, and he said, 'I hope so. I sure hope so.' It could not have been more than two weeks later and the unthinkable happened. I remember Jeremy running to class the next morning saying to me, 'Syreeta! How'd you do that? How'd you know? You called it!'

All I can say is that people dream in a common language. If you heard those German tourists in my history class in 1989, you could feel the urgency for change. And I don't think it's a stretch that young Germans felt a kinship with the students in Tiananmen Square. In the wake of that tragedy, they might have found their courage to challenge the old order in their nation.

The poignant part of the President's Cairo speech two weeks ago sort of reads now as a prophetic allusion to events that are now manifesting. Pundits have found fault with the connection with Civil Rights Movement and resistance movements -fringe to moderate- of some Arab communities to regimes. I felt that it struck a very raw nerve. Something that we all had to acknowledge. African Americans learned from the Indian struggle against British rule during the first half of the twentieth century. In 1947, India became a sovereign nation again. Our own history shows how civil disobedience can affect change. It ended injustices my forebearers suffered through. It gave me the right to vote without fear. It seems clear to me now that the Iranian kids heard him. Still, Obama can't engage them directly. That's not his purpose at this time. A statesman engages governments. This is a populist movement. And all we can do is watch, support, and hope that human rights are respected.

My color scheme is green so that they know that I'm with them.

Catch A Fire

2009-06-15T18:24:00.001-04:00

, originally uploaded by mousavi1388.

I don't know about you, but I'm riveted by the events in Iran since the weekend. If you've been living under a rock, Twitter has emerged as the critical source for following the events in Tehran. The Atlantic's Andrew Sullivan has masterful coverage. A must read. Print media as it lives online has in-depth accounts, images, and analysis. Television has failed. Perhaps today we'll see a difference in the type of coverage that the cable news and major networks will show than the pallid interest it had displayed over the weekend.

I can't help but think if we had Twitter in 2003 during the height of the antiwar protests, would we have had a larger impact on the mainstream media coverage? Would that have stopped the invasion of Iraq? Hindsight remains fuzzy. But now? We have this technological infrastructure to support digital communication. And that communication supports civic engagement and action. Perhaps a revolution.

I'm watching these events very closely. We're getting information in real time. This is the future of journalism. The future is now.

Greene Avenue between Washington and St. James

2009-06-05T21:56:00.001-04:00

A More Perfect Union 2.0

2009-06-04T11:41:00.000-04:00

This is simply brilliant.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

If you don't have time to watch the video, please read the transcript. I can't think of another person who has the moral authority to deliver this speech. I felt the same way about his speech on race last year. There's a maturity beyond the words. There's clarity and acknowledgment that he gets it. And so do we. He doesn't insult our intelligence or talk down to us about it. He's embracing it full on. There's honesty in balancing our fixed perceptions and opposites, naming them and then challenging us to transcend.

I don't even need to glean what the Right will say about this. But in embracing this 'third rail' of sorts, he's taking the road I don't think any of the candidates last year ever could. The opportunity here is to challenge the world community to be the change we wish to seek in the world.

The middle ground is something close to freedom.

The Writing On The Wall

2009-06-03T23:36:00.000-04:00

St. Marks and Third Avenue, New York City.

© syreeta mcfadden

Funkin' Lesson

2009-06-02T17:04:00.001-04:00

I don't know what's going on in my brain today. But it began with a question that I woke up with this morning: what is black?

And then I remembered the jam from back in the day.

Still thinking about where I'm going with this question. But right now, I'm shakin' my ass to early '90s hip hop.

Memorial Day

2009-05-25T10:55:00.000-04:00

Remembering those who have served and sacrificed. Below are photographs from the Veterans Hospital campus in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Siempre Fidelis.

Disambiguation

2009-05-22T12:23:00.000-04:00

In the ongoing debate about torture versus the rule of law, constitutional values, and American identity and values, the media seemed to miss the mark, not surprisingly again.

Jon Stewart still wins.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

M - Th 11p / 10c

American Idealogues

thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Economic Crisis

Political Humor

NOLA Diary - Fragments

2009-05-13T17:34:00.000-04:00

It was too brief a trip. It was my first trip to the Crescent City and I only got a small taste. NOLA was in good spirits when I arrived. Jazzfest was in full swing, along with some ill-advised consumption of deep fried foodstuffs and crawdads. Yeah, I said it. Crawdads.

Some fragments of my impressions:

1. Time is measured by BS and AS. Before the Storm. After the Storm. The Storm holds weight. It is matter of fact. It is reality. It is not imagination. It is lived and it is real.

2. The fleur de lis has three points. It is symbol and totem. It is ubiquitous. It is an act of defiance. The phoenix that rises from the ashes. NOLA is rising.

3. Gentrification presents paradox. Rebuild, renewal and rebirth challenges the traditional neighborhood fabric and urban design. The communities of the 9th Ward, Mid City, Esplanade are in transition.

4. There's nothing French about the French quarter. Jackson Square is Plaza Mayor, Madrid.

You come to really know a place through the passage of time. Sure, I'd seen films about 'Nawlins' as well as the documentaries about Katrina. But it provides a limited point of view. It frames the narrative of communities and the people who live in them. You can see a picture and connect to place and feeling, but you're only looking at the object through a narrow prism of the photographer/filmmaker. You hope it evokes an awareness of space, sound and feeling that you may have felt when you took the shot. And in the sequencing of those images and sound, the filmmaker hopes to construct a larger narrative for her audience. It's still two dimensional. Memory works like that sometimes. It's spotty, fragmented, fractured and magic all at once.

Nonetheless, I've included some images from my travels.

I don't presume that my photos tell the whole story. I don't think that was the point in my taking them. It really says more about me as photographer. And all of this is a really long way of saying that I plan to go back as soon as I get the chance.

Validation

2009-05-08T13:55:00.000-04:00

H/T to Crucial Minutiae blogger Jennifer Gandin Le for this one. If you have time to watch this short film featuring TJ Thyne of 'Bones' fame, please do. And if you're not smiling by the end, then there must be no love left in your heart.

Happy Friday.

Mirror Error

2009-05-08T11:54:00.000-04:00

Some other thoughts on the 'T' word from Andrew Sullivan and blogger Hussein Rashid.

Literature has often been a teacher of humanity for me. As this subject is debated over various outlets, my memory takes me back to IB English in 11th grade. Our reading list included Arthur Koestler's Darkness at Noon. For those of you unfamiliar with the story, Wikipedia has a decent synopsis.

My memory of the novel is fragmented. It's sort of a mash-up between other things I was reading, junior and senior year of high school. I was also reading Kurt Vonnegut's Harrison Bergeron, Edgar Allen Poe's The Pit and The Pendulum and Elie Wiezel's Night. These stories stayed with me. They were stories of the individual versus the state. Maybe it was my first literary encounter with torture and why I think of it now. The Pit and the Pendulum, Night, and Harrison Bergeron along with Darkness at Noon form this dystopic nightmare for me. The lines where these stories overlap in my brain comes to this point: totalitarian regimes suppressing the rights of individuals and systematic murder of citizens. The Spanish Inquisition was torture. Rubashov in Darkness at Noon was tortured and was compelled to fake a confession. Harrison Bergeron was murdered for not conforming to the rules of the State that suppressed his individual freedom. Elie Wiezel survived living in a concentration camp while Nazis methodically murdered Jews, gypsies and others.

Isn't it odd that the conservative movement fears Obama Administration's policies on social entitlements and tax code versus the Bush Administration's sanction and codification of a torture program? Where's their fear of losing the rule of law?

Not everyone has read these stories. They've read others, perhaps. Maybe it didn't affect them as much as it has affected me. Maybe they can't see how these stories were written so that we remember to do better. Maybe they can't see how at this moment, art and life are thisclose. That is not a typo. We still have time. We're the ones we've been waiting for.

Not In Our Name

2009-04-27T10:30:00.000-04:00

'Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.' - Martin Luther King

I'm not sure if enough people are talking about this.

I've been avoiding it myself. Looking at the issue straight in the eye. See the character of the American people through the actions of our leaders. Honestly, I don't want to. But much like that nagging small voice inside your head, you must relent and deal with it.

Part of the strategery in releasing these memos is that it forces us to talk about it. Everyday people, beyond the mainstream media. Some would like to frame this debate as 'leftwing' issue. Some have even attempted to phrase the conversation in this way:

It’s hard for me to look at a great nation issuing these documents and sending them out to the world and thinking, ‘Oh, much good will come of that.’ Sometimes in life you want to keep walking… Some of life has to be mysterious.

- Peggy Noonan

On the interwebs, populist outrage seems to be simmering. Andrew Sullivan and Ta'hesi Coates for the Atlantic Monthly have written about it.And again, we have Shepard Smith, with his flashes of outrage. This guy's done a song about it, Jon Stewart reported it satirically on the Daily Show, Nick Flynn wrote a brilliant essay about it in Tin House last year, George Saunders wrote satirical story about it for the New Yorker, and yet, I sort of get the feeling that we're not angry enough.

We are avoiding talking about it. It's ugly. It's ugly like lynchings, serial killers, interning Japanese American citizens, rape, police brutality, eugenics projects, and slavery. It's the dark side of the force that everyone tries to forget.

For what good is this great republic if we can't be honest and be held accountable for our crimes? How dare we say that we're the moral compass to the world when we're unwilling to prosecute crimes committed by our leaders? When did we let our fear forfeit the rule of law?

The most damning realization in my reading these memos, the Red Cross Report, the Senate Arms Services Committee Report, and other sources to deconstruct the issue is this: Torture became policy. Torture suborned confessions to support the invasion of Iraq. Torture was policy and vehicle to support a political and agenda.

And that realization sends chills down my spine. It makes me weep. I hope I'm not alone.

Torture is wrong. Waterboarding is torture. There, I said it. And I will say it again and again. We all should. And we can't stop until officials of the previous administration are brought to justice and are held accountable for their crimes against humanity and the republic.

photo: © syreeta mcfadden 2009

NaPoWriMo - Catch Up/Day 22

2009-04-24T18:43:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I'm behind. I decided that I actually should follow a prompt. Day 22's prompt from Robert Lee Brewer was to write a poem that involves work. Below is my attempt.

Kid A-Draft

To say, It is what it is, signals defeat. Acceptance doesn’t always set you free
and the heavy stone pressing on your heart each day
as you waddle up the slope of the Fulton Street station
doesn’t make the day go any faster. The fluorescent lights
blind. You are an island in a sea of grey cabinets.
You think, this is what it must have been like for Mrs. Basil
E. Frankeweiler. Mixed up files, yellowing papers, and mildew.
The worn adhesive on a file label wedges itself between papers
Unaware of their original intent. Who knew recycling could feel so liberating?
Letting go gets easier, but the paper still bites
Its cut burns the skin worse than rubbing alcohol
and your mother warned you never to bite your cuticles.
Your underexposed pieces are the most sensitive. What gives?
New skin should be protected if only for a while.
You wait for something to happen.
Make copies. Answer phones. Someone on the other line
is asking you to come home.
###

Filing and copying as a task always makes me think of Radiohead's Kid A. I have no other explanations to give.

Happy Earth Day

2009-04-22T13:06:00.001-04:00

County of Kings

2009-04-18T10:11:00.000-04:00

After an unpredictable slew of transitional weather, Brooklyn found herself basking in the warm glow of the sun. Here are some scenes from yesterday's life in the sunshine.

Under a big bright yellow sun. It's going to be a good summer.

Go-Go Gadget Train!

2009-04-17T10:31:00.000-04:00

Yay!

I've wanted this for a very, very, very long time.

A modern and fast moving inter-rail system in the US? Cutting my travel time between New York and Chicago, or Milwaukee to just a few hours? Perhaps reducing my out of pocket travel costs and carbon emissions associated with car or airplane travel? Relieve congestion in the air and on the ground? This will make my grandmother love a little more. Many of my planner geek friends and I have long lamented the fact of how easy it is to travel through Europe because of high speed train service, than it is in the US. Our reliance on cars has been prohibitive for a high-speed rail system to develop.

The Europification of the United States of America. I think we're finally growing up, defining a society that can live sustainably. My carbon footprint is starting to look a lot cuter.

NaPoWriMo - Photo of the Day, Day 10

2009-04-10T17:35:00.000-04:00

Poetry! Your verses and your metaphors, you stump me! Curses! (she says shaking fist angrily in the air). Alas, I leave you with an image. Maybe this will prompt a poem for others.

It's Passover and Holy Week this week; the lovely overlap between Judaism and Christianity, just after the equinox, the birth of a new season and new life. Easter for those of you in the know, replaced the pagan holiday that celebrated the Babylonian goddess, Astarte. It was the moment when life returned to the earth after the fall and winter, which was her descent into the underworld for her love, Tammuz. She traveled through seven gates in the underworld to bring him back to life. It was the Babylonians' way to explain the change of seasons. And it's not an accident that Astarte and Easter appear to have a relationship in their spelling. You may recognize this story in other myths and you would be right. Ancient peoples dreamed in a common language.

Today is Good Friday and at sundown, Shabbat. Holidays (Holy Days) are important; we mark time and we stop in our busy lives to celebrate. Another poet friend noted that in her NaPoWriMo post earlier this week,'Jews have so many/holidays is because they know that the world/will always come up with occasions for sorrow.'

My Passover miracle this week: there was a fire in the hallway outside of my apartment when i wasn't home. The hallway was completely destroyed, but my door and apartment was untouched. True fact.

Happy Easter and Chag Sameach. Live your life and love it.

photo: © syreeta mcfadden 2009

NaPoWriMo- Day 9

2009-04-09T15:40:00.000-04:00

I'm trying to keep up with my oh so cool, way too talented poet friends who are posting new poems for NaPoWriMo. Naturally, I'm behind. I'm working on a much longer project of my own. Anyway, in today's freewrite, I wrote something that may be a poem, or it may want to be a short story. Hat tip to Mom and her very oddball stream of consciousness rationalizations.

THE TRUTH ABOUT MY GRANDFATHER - DRAFT

Your life is still mystery. There’s a tape that repeats in your head
and it misses all the details I’d like to know. How it felt
to jump so high and land on your feet for the first time.
The starch and itch of a white shirt around the collar of your neck.
The honeysuckle and freesia perfumed air just an hour before dusk
and the dark wet smell of boiled water for laundry. The bitter and syrupy flavor
of molasses on a dry biscuit on your tongue, grateful for the meal
and treat all in one. How blood tasted like dirt and rocks in the crack
of your bottom lip when you folded inside your mouth to suck it dry
after the old man slapped you quiet. How your hands were sore
and scarred from splitting cotton blossoms from the field. The facts of your life
are in all these things too. But you don’t let us in. The South is fantasy
in wistful reflections inside gravelly voices. Those were the good ol days.
Days so good that you remind us often, of how so many of you took
I94 north from the heat and burn of tyranny and indifference. You left everything
you knew to be remade in America, the beautiful. The bountiful. Followed the road
to factories, steel mills and car plants. You were going to do so much better
than your parents. Make your own way in the world, working harder than
the liliest of white hands next to your mashing metal into the frames of vehicles.
Until they closed the plant and the wealth didn’t trickle down but became
pounds of unnaturally colored surplus cheese. I see you now, every Sunday
steadfast in the belief that the everlasting arms will hold you up and shower
you with answers a cruel world never revealed. Something greater than
the force of will that brought you north in the first place to tell you
a secret you should’ve known all along. You do belong and you are loved.

NaPoWriMo - Photo of the Day

2009-04-08T13:44:00.001-04:00

Poems, poems. Why do you elude me? As promised, a meager photo substitute.

The quote: 'The Wanderer is overcome by the joy of existence, so that he can only laugh.' - Buddha

From my travel journal on August 18, 2002.

How's that for a writing prompt?

photo: © syreeta mcfadden 2009

NaPoWriMo

2009-04-06T15:22:00.000-04:00

Is not a car. Is not a pair of jeans, or a new band. It is the acronym for National Poetry Month. Beginning every April and for the remainder of 29 days, NaPoWriMo encourages all of us, rock star poets to the general population to write poems. One poem every day.

And don't you think there is no better time than now to write poems? The writing and reading of poems, at least for me, has always proven instructive. It compels me to give pause to a hurried lifestyle, where I miss things like silence, grace, beauty, and reflection. When I was growing up, my grandmother gave me poems to read as shorthand to unravel my conflicting emotions. I don't think I would've survived my teens without the quiet, defiant confidence I got from Invictus. Or hold the contradictions of being an individual and a world citizen without If. And if she hadn't primed me, I don't think I would've felt exhilarated when I read Canonization, and ultimately realizing that those metaphysical poets I studied my senior year were really masters at seduction. Ah, John Donne, you had me at 'let me love.'

I'm going to try to meet this challenge and post a poem a day. We'll see how I do. And if the words don't come, I'll substitute with a photograph. Because sometimes, a picture is worth a thousand words.

photo: © syreeta mcfadden 2009

Pride! In the Name of Love

2009-04-04T18:09:00.000-04:00

I took this photo in 1999. We were not in Memphis, and I don't remember what I said to my friend at the exact moment I pressed the shutter. Today, I feel it's the most succinct way to acknowledge this day. We'll remember throughout all of our days. The man and the dream and endeavor to keep it alive.

Hat tip to U2 for giving us this song and John Legend's cover.

photo: © syreeta mcfadden 1999

Race Talk

2009-03-26T10:36:00.000-04:00

Toni Morrison wrote an essay about language and its uses that I think many people didn't get on first read.

And then there's this nonsense.

A lot of people have sounded off about this already. But here's my concern: this Bruce woman, Glenn Beck, Fox News, "Joe the Plumber" among many others,is that their rhetoric and language can provoke action. Dangerous action. It's also distracting. Like our obsession with the AIG bonuses (1% of the bailout money). Please. That's not nearly as distressing as trying to unravel the plan to nationalize Citigroup and Bank of America. Because we really, really need to pay attention to that. It's inevitable. And it's going to take a shift in our thinking, patience and work to define our shared existence in this nation going forward. So I'm not sure what significance a culture war has right now when people just want to find balance, maintain a decent quality of life, and pursue happiness.

Someone wrote in my high school yearbook this quote: "You have the freedom of speech, just watch what you say." I still have mixed feelings about that statement. Maybe I'm just asking for discernment, common sense, or just words that expand awareness rather than contract it. Words that create, rather than destroy. And the wisdom to know the difference.

Populist Outrage

2009-03-18T18:32:00.000-04:00

Looks like AIG isn't the only one who's gonna get it. This was the scene today around Bowling Green in Lower Manhattan.

We need a hero for the people in these times...

But alas, we're in a bear market. And all we can hope for is to find someone special and to cuddle with while we weather the storm.

Seriously. I cannot make this stuff up.

photos: © syreeta mcfadden

Around the Neighborhood

2009-03-17T18:27:00.000-04:00

St. James between Fulton and Gates, Brooklyn (aka Biggie Small's block).

photos: © syreeta mcfadden

The Black Swan

2009-03-15T11:16:00.000-04:00

Hindsight is said to be 20/20. But sometimes, it's blurry.

The thing I learned from the "Brawl Street" confrontation between Jon Stewart and Jim Cramer is the latter.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Jim Cramer Unedited Interview Pt. 3

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things w/ Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Jim Cramer

The crux and larger message in the interview however, shouldn't get buried and should be repeated over and over. That message is that American investigative journalism has failed us in reportage on the financial crisis.

There's truth to that, however, hindsight remains fuzzy. In 2006 and 2007, business reporters from the Wall Street Journal, Financial Times, and Business Week reported signs of distress in the mortgage market. By mid-2007, there were mortgage foreclosures and were growing at a rate that was anticipated to exceed the amount during the Great Depression. Alan Greenspan cautioned in late 2007 and 2008 that it was unclear if this problem could be isolated and not contaminate other areas of the financial markets.

In August 2007, the global financial markets went into defibrillation. And a few months after, This American Life did a brilliant show, "The Giant Pool of Money", that unpacked the crisis to glean deeper meaning from it. In 2008, Vanity Fair did another brilliant article that deconstructed the Bear Stearns acquisition.

And then there's CNBC. The bigger question that comes to play is who is CNBC's audience? Investors, consumers, or corporations? The Daily Show put a spotlight on the fundamental problem that I think we already know. CNBC isn't journalism. Jim Cramer isn't a reporter. He's a commentator. He's a man who's worked in the industry for years, built relationships with people that became leaders in the industry, and creators of financial products that grew money, real and most likely, imagined. Then the bottom fell out and things fell apart fast. And we learned that the financial market was made of widgets worth two trillion dollars more than the GDP.

Hmmmmm.

CNBC's credibility was compromised. And that tagline, In Cramer We Trust? How can he continue to be a reliable source for commentary on market conditions when his own contacts have become unreliable? If the economy is a function of confidence, and confidence is supported by value of accurate information or simply insight that comes from trusted sources, then our confidence is shaken. But that's if you were only relying on CNBC to provide you an accurate picture of the crisis. And if you were really paying attention, you would've been able to see how these things were connected. Maybe the reporting wasn't loud enough, or maybe it's hard to explain a system that requires insider knowledge of how concepts lead to wealth accumulation. Perhaps we needed the major news networks to have done a series of primetime specials noting how regulatory agencies didn't do their due diligence, or risk management departments were understaffed within major financial institutions, or worse ignored, or better, explain why you need risk management, and that we were borrowing beyond our means from the Chinese that accelerated growth of our national debt. Or even how all our institutions over leveraged and borrowed while we obsessed (rightfully so) about Iraq, Afghanistan and the 2008 Election.

Did CNBC see this meltdown coming to report it accurately? Hindsight is a funny thing. I'm a layman at best, and worked in the real estate industry, and I can tell you one thing: I did see it coming. A lot of us did. Some may not have expected it to be so toxic that it would cause a system shut down. But there were signs of distress everywhere. It seemed to me that people were reluctant to connect the dots and prepare everyone that a correction was on the horizon. CNBC is a network in collusion with financial industry. It's an offshoot of a larger conglomerate that relies on advertising dollars to support its programming and operations, and let's be honest; it restricts what truth they can say. NBC could have reported these signs of distress, but they would've lost money and we wouldn't have another Celebrity Apprentice.

Some of the conservative talking heads also are dismissive of the demographic that watches the Daily Show. It presumes that young people aren't paying attention to the news and only get news from the Daily Show. That's inaccurate. They're paying attention, they're twittering links, posting links on Facebook, reading Huffpo, NYT. The jokes wouldn't be funny or make sense if you weren't paying attention. And if you are paying attention, you must be resourceful enough to find news sources out there that you can trust and restore your confidence in the system.

Fifty Nifty, United States...

2009-03-12T13:05:00.000-04:00

Do you know that song? Composed by none other than Ray Charles. The other Ray Charles. It goes like this: "Fifty, Nifty, United States from Thirteen Original Colonies..." Imagine singing it to the key of C. Or something. Anyway, a new project has been launched. It seems to only highlight a trend out there in ether.

And I thought it was just me. It seems that photographers, journalists and writers, television networks are all asking the question: What is the character of America?

Vanity Fair in 2004 had an essay contest soliciting a similar query. It challenged entrants to "explain the character of the American people to the world." I entered that contest, and sadly, I did not win. The exercise did, however, help me. I'm still asking myself that question. I'm not sure I'll ever settle on answer. Here's a clip of my essay response:

"We are paradox. Let us begin with that as meditation.
We are hopeful. We are heartbreaking. We defend. We punish. We are arrogant and humble. We are naïve and wise.
Then, there are the photographs.
We are barbarians and humanitarians. We destroy. We rebuild. We hate. We love. We supported and objected the war.
We were born under the sign of Cancer. It is a patriotic sign. Home. Family. Nation. We are collection of people searching for place to call home. Some came by boat, plane, train, car, bus. Some even walked. Home fabricated, stolen, and replaced.
To be an American means to constantly discover and rediscover whom you really are..."

2004 was an interesting time to ask the question, as it was in 2003, when the Whitney Museum exhibited work from international artists for the American Effect show. And it still is an interesting time to ask the question. Our nation is maturing and I'm not just talking about the general population. The meaning of being American is maturing. And America isn't all one color. And we can't pat ourselves on the back and say we're post-racial, post-gay, post-feminist. We're still trying to figure out what that looks like and how to live it.

So I hope we all continue to search for answers about who we are now and who we hope to become. I'll be bringing this track along, a perfectly crafted short story and anthem, for our long journey ahead.

photo: "Girl with dollar bill" © Larry Schwarm

On the Street Where I Live

2009-03-05T14:56:00.000-05:00

An Open Letter to the Rational Conservative

2009-03-03T15:58:00.000-05:00

Dear Rational Conservative,

I’ve given this some thought, and I think the Republican Party should find a white guy.

These new faces of the party that your strategists have been pushing as of late aren’t working. It’s embarrassing –for them and for me. At this point, a rational sounding white guy might be the change you can believe in. I know that the defeat in November to the Democratic Party, let along that the leader of the party as an African American, still burns but your strategists struggling to parade a 'minority' is cheapening the effort to demonstrate inclusion in your ranks. The Democrats didn't just find a black guy, they found someone who is intelligent, pragmatic and just plain gets it.

I feel for you. I really do. It seems to me that your party acts under the presumption that you are stupid. I'm insulted for you. I know that you’re smarter than that. And if some of you are persons of color or women, then it’s my belief that your party has been a disservice to you. You’re entitled to be intelligent, conservative and woman. Or African American. Or Mexican American. These voices that we’ve seen on the national stage cannot be representative of your whole constituency. I know that your constituency isn't all white, and Rush Limbaugh as a mouthpiece for your party may make you cringe, but your silence has been deafening. If you're a party that engages in ideas and solutions, then it's ok to disagree with Limbaugh. You have that freedom of speech. It's in the constitution. If you disagree with Rove, know that you live in a democracy that protects your right to do so publicly. Not all democrats agree with everything Obama says and does. And surprisingly, he respects a differing point of view. Go figure.

I think it’s my job as an American that skews liberal and progressive to cajole some you rational thinking conservatives from your hiding places. You can’t possibly continue as the silent majority of a party whose talking points come exclusively from blowhards like Limbaugh. If you disagree with the policies from the Obama administration, what would you propose as an alternative? I’d like to hear it. I’m not kidding, I really would like to hear them. I don’t mean this to sound combative at all; I want to hear what you have to say in terms of solutions that are rooted in the facts and reality of the situation we face.

I know you’re out there. You can engage in a debate that doesn’t infuriate everyone to the point where we stop talking. I know that there were some of you who didn’t believe in the policies of the previous administration that endangered the very tenets from which our democracy was based. I know that Shepard Smith’s comments are not just slips off "of the Fox News reservation." I know you’re out there, and you feel you got played because your party’s strategists put out Palin, Jindal and this guy Michael Steele, who thinks you need a “hip hop makeover”. That belittles your crisis of existence at the moment.

I can only speak for myself but I don’t have the time to sort through rhetoric and misinformation when the realities of the economy and the wars are staring me in my face. I don’t want a single party system. I like healthy debate. I don’t always skew far left in my views either. I want practical solutions. I want to fight for the safety of the world we live in. Our lives are now, not in the hereafter. I’m happy to meet you, rational conservative, in the middle. Because that’s the spirit of democracy, the place where compromise meets and solutions arise.

Please speak up, I'm listening.

Sincerely,

Syreeta McFadden
Democrat and Pragmatist

Snow Day!

2009-03-02T17:28:00.000-05:00

Scenes from Fort Greene Park Brooklyn, County of Kings!

photos by Syreeta McFadden

If It's Magic...

2009-02-28T11:32:00.001-05:00

Stevie Wonder was just honored this week with the Library of Congress Gershwin Prize for the Popular Song. Yes, there is such a thing. Awesome, yes?

Admittedly, I feel a special kinship to Stevie and his music. My namesake comes from a woman who was one of his collaborators and was once his wife. There's a whole generation of women named Syreeta. I had almost forgotten that fact, but remembered while watching The Namesake this morning. And for that, let me be one of the Syreetas to give thanks to the maestro and his muse for inspiring love that brought us and our names into being.

Not too long ago a friend sent me this that showcases the badassness of Stevie.

Seriously, anybody who can rock out on Sesame Street like that deserves all the accolades that we the people can heap on him.

Stevie's songbook is extensive. And I have far too many favorites to name. But I want to put a spotlight on "As", commonly known as "Always". It's the classic soundtrack to any family reunion. And with good reason. This song is so dope because it can lift you up from any bad mood or malaise. No worries about all the troubles surrounding you, and this world may fall away and a new one may begin. The economy may be a shitshow and you're out of a job, but Love... Love is timeless, unconditional and everlasting. You are not alone.

Congratulations Stevie.

Miss American Pie

2009-02-25T17:39:00.000-05:00

I remember the first time I heard this song.

It was 1989 and I was in the 8th grade. It was a few weeks before my first trip to the nation's capital. I didn't understand the lyrics then, but I knew what I felt when I heard the song. I felt like I had been born too late. Like I missed whatever the living was to be had in the world. I felt the zeitgeist of the time through this song. And I was sad that I missed it. I missed hearing John and Bobby and Martin and Malcolm. I missed the Cuban Missile Crisis, the Vietnam War, the Civil Rights Movement, the birth of Rock and Roll, the anti-war protests. I missed 1968. I missed Woodstock. I missed 1969. I missed the summer of love. I felt I was born to a time where nothing of any significance would happen afterward.

And honestly, the generation before me didn't help. They had their stories and insights about how they survived and struggled. How my generation didn't understand what kind of challenges they faced, how they rose to the occasion and how my generation lacks the drive to affect changes in the world. The generation before me had changed the world that I am now privileged to live in and would never let me forget that.

I'm not ungrateful. I got to go to integrated schools and secure advance degrees because of it. But the promise of the future they had fought to secure for me slowly disappeared. Now it's obvious. We're all painfully aware of the fragility of our society in this economic crisis.

This month is the 50th anniversary of the inspiration behind this song. It was in February 1959 that Buddy Holly, the Big Bopper and Richie Valens died in a plane crash over Iowa. Don McLean makes an allusion to this tragedy in the song. It seemed to have defined him and the subsequent years of his generation. For us, September 2001 is still defining the kind of people we're becoming.

And now, I find that I'm thinking a lot about generations. And it took me some time to entertain the idea that my generation's time is Now. We're here Now. I'm not entirely sure what we'll bring into existence, but what I do hear in the ether is a desire for balance and correction. I hear in conversations I've had with friends and strangers over the past month the desire to restore balance and re-imagine what it means to be American. American identity can't solely live in the idea that we are what we consume. There must be a deeper spirit that dwells here. Don McLean came of age when his nation was in crisis and as a songwriter, gave us this gift. What will we create when we emerge from this period of difficulty? What piece of the American pie will we leave the generations to follow us?

How To Build A Better Robot, Part I

2009-02-18T15:45:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking a lot about infrastructure lately.

I hear the word thrown around a lot, but I'm not sure if it's resonating with everyone. If some of you are faithful viewers of the Rachel Maddow show, you hear her geek out about it. I must admit, I do too. I was glad that I was not alone in the obsession about it. My former coworkers in the construction industry found my obsession odd too. It's not like I had ever got my hands dirty in any actual trade to care about joists, masonry, weepholes or footings, the shaping of the physical universe. To them, I was administrator, bean counter, be it a "marketing person." I dealt in a universe of fluff, and they did the real heavy lifting. No pun intended. But as the weeks wore on and the job reached its logical conclusion and the work slowed down, I thought about all of us in how we'd fit into the next job. Would there be a next job? The market conditions and tea leaves last fall suggested an end.

Ah, Endings. They make you think. When the site supervisor and I sat down for our weekly chat to cover the work that's been done on the project, I had this odd moment of lucidity. "Do you think that the American population realizes that we're going to have retrain the entire labor force to be able to meet the challenges of the 21st century?" I asked. He gave me a quizzical look, but then he understood and said, "I don't think they have a clue." I used our building as an example, a residential building with green building systems atypical in the existing housing stock in the New York Area. New York City has a plan campaign to decrease its carbon emissions and footprint (33% of greenhouse gas emissions comes from buildings). They soak up power, water, and air, then send out some very bad juju out into climate. Not to mention construction materials themselves that contaminate ground and water due to its inability to breakdown into a simple or complex sugar or something. You get the point.

The challenge I found in this experience is that while some of us are becoming better educated about how materials we use to shape our world have in fact harmed us, we are still challenged to invest time and resources to do more to minimize these impacts. With the growth of green building as a movement and reality in some places, the maintenance begins with the workforce population understanding the fundamentals of how to maintain the thing we've created to coexist with our ecosystem. If the porters and superintendents don't understand how to run a high efficiency boiler or an air purification system and fix it breaks down, what good have really done to better our city? If plumbers don't learn how to install a blackwater reclamation system for a building so that it reduces water waste when we flush toilets, then how are we contributing to preserving our most critical resource? How does reducing water waste support our reservoirs? Potable water wasted for toilet water doesn't do the world any good.

The ending of the boom in the housing industry presents us with a beginning. An opportunity, even. Building McMansions and condos across the lower 48 seemed like a grand idea at the time because it created wealth and jobs to mitigate the bust of 2000-2001 from the internet boom, but it also paved the way for the excesses that led to our current downturn. And all the homes that we were building didn't necessarily factor in sustainability. Fiscally or ecologically. How could it? The labor force was not schooled in the ways of mitigating impacts on the environment.

So this brings me to my current thinking about infrastructure. Infrastructure is more than the physical universe of roads, bridges, schools, power grids, levees, dams, reservoirs, trains, subways. Think of them as veins and vessels within the body. The body cannot live without the mind. Teachers, firefighters, police officers, servicemen and women flow through that universe. So do you and I. And all of us need to be a bit more educated about how we all are connected in this life. How do we individually complement the stimulus package that was just signed? Infrastructure, beyond the jobs and economic stability it can create, includes you, me and a dose of intellectual curiosity.

America is a young nation with old systems in play. All that American ingenuity we've been taught about has laid fallow for too long. It's time to build a better robot.

Are you ready?

Happy Hour

2009-02-13T20:19:00.000-05:00

The grown ups are back.

Seriously. Didn't you feel a little of that when people talk public, national policy in press conferences, speeches and inaugural addresses? Or maybe it's me. Maybe I've grown up, and stopped looking to the previous generation as the older, wiser pool of people who have all the answers. Time has proven that they don't. They're still trying figure it out. Then there's all this talk of responsibility, accountability, owning up to mistakes. What's that? For a better part of a decade, we've had folks obfuscate facts that sent young men and women to war. That's the least of the grievances, but to continue the list is going a little off topic.

Grown ups. There's a maturity in the air. Old has become new again. And keeping with the time, if you're on the east coast, you'll notice a trend. The return of the cocktail hour. A refinement of alcoholic consumption.

It sort of explains why Mad Men hit such a cultural nerve with me. Set in recent, distant past, it also feels relevant. The cocktail culture is central to movement of the story. It's gesture and setting. It makes me crave an Old Fashioned. I don't even know what that is, but Don Draper drinks it. It looks intriguing.

Drinking had become a dirty word. Paved the way to excess and irresponsibility. So much so that the 43rd President, a reformed alcoholic, kept the White House dry during his term. But the new guy, he begs to differ. The cocktail hour has returned to the White House.

Grown ups. They talk, they drink, they share ideas. It's a pretty American tradition. The ideals of this still very young nation were discussed and debated ad nauseam in company of spirits. Alcoholic spirits. The pubs and apothecaries distributed Paine's Common Sense. That led to the insurrection of thought which ultimately led to the insurrection of deed.

Across the pond, it was in a bar in Paris that some random mathematician talked to Einstein and Picasso independent of each other that sent them both on directions that affected our physical world and perception of it. The big idea was fortuitous. We could use some of that now.

So cheers to the return of the cocktail hour and the grown ups who drink them, may it shift boundaries and manifest the big idea that can advance society and culture to its greatest good.

Future Shock

2009-02-09T20:04:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure if they get it.

The debate over the economic stimulus package is ideological. Most economists say that we need massive, sweeping and deep intervention in the American economy from the American government. What I remember quite specifically from freshmen year econ: To spend is to beget demand which increases supply which begets production which begets jobs that beget growth in the economy for many generations to come. Amen. To quote the President, "That's the point."

What is the point of government if it's not there to intervene at time of crisis?

The ideologues of the conservative movement is still singing the gospel of Reaganism. The revisionist version.

Last night's press conference was crucial. My mom is a pharmacist tech in Wisconsin. She's not the most sophisticated American when it comes to charts, Keynesian Economics, derivatives and the ilk, but what she said to me over phone was that she likes that Obama takes the time to explain things. The President's campaign to market the stimulus package to the public seemed to work from what I was hearing on the other end of the phone.

The other significant point from the President that seems to be buried underneath chatter of post partisanship, spending, stimulus, Keynesian, is infrastructure. I highlighted the point for my mother. "There are a string of events that occurred over the past 8 years that haven't necessarily been connected in an obvious way," I said to her. "We treat them as separate events. Katrina and the levee failure in New Orleans, the Mississippi River Bridge collapse in Minneapolis, the episodes of train derailments on the east coast, the 2003 blackout, the rolling blackouts in California, the drought conditions last year in Atlanta... I could go on. Infrastructure is critical. Nationally, we haven't invested in these areas in years. If we expect to move forward into the 21st century, we need to modernize."

On the other end of the phone, I could imagine my mother's face. A startled look of comprehension and a frown, "Well, when you put it like that, that makes a lot of sense. You writing about that yet?"

Sort of, I said.

Deep Thoughts

2009-02-08T11:36:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite publications has dived into the 21st century. The Atlantic Monthly has created an online community to gather people around the big questions of our time. With a collection of short films and clips from the magazine itself, the Atlantic's Think Again campaign has a bit of Hollywood indie flair in the presentation. Part of me is seduced by the branding. The grittier photography, the hand held camera shots at odd angles, but nonetheless, it brings a little of street and edge back to the internet. A recording of how we see ourselves now, of what we want, of what believe to be citizens now.

Sometimes I fear that in that I'm losing brain cells and intellectual curiosity in the daily routines of life. We have lost precision in our language. We repeat the same assortment of words to draw out an idea that eventually loses meaning and doesn't challenge us to elevate the conversation beyond our initial experience.

Personally, I don't think the internet, google or wikipedia makes us stupid. The innovation of lightening speed access to information killed the utility of the Dewey decimal system and public libraries have suffered because of it. But the power to discern the relevance of information gathered by the internet still lies within the individual. We are responsible for ourselves. If google leads you to a source of information, isn't it your responsibility and curiosity that will ultimately prompt you to dig deeper? Information mass produced is about as American as apple pie and McDonald's french fries. Curiosity is human. I'm going to remember that.

Say Word!

2009-02-05T13:56:00.000-05:00

It's like he's speaking sweet policy and political nothings in my ear.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

I love these words: infrastructure, power grid, comprehensive energy policy. This was some serious tough talk from the leader of the free world. Refreshingly so and honest. The macro issues are clear, the stimulus isn't necessarily a magic wand, but does set us on the path to enter the 21st century. It's clear to me that the President understands that America needs to do some self care to compete and in doing so, looking inward, we can reflect and engage our outer realities with responsibility to the world.

Winter Wonderland

2009-02-03T21:02:00.000-05:00

The scene from my walk back from the supermarket.

As seen on the newstands...

2009-02-02T22:53:00.000-05:00

Black America, we need to talk.

I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing in Perfect Harmony...

2009-01-28T08:50:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine sent this to me this AM.

Do More...

2009-01-22T19:23:00.000-05:00

Beyonce was inspired.

You could feel it. The President and First Lady felt it. So much so, that they had to end their little, sexy two-step slow dance groove to acknowledge it. She found her voice.

And then some:

"He makes me want to be smarter, to get involved..."

President Obama has certainly inspired millions. But she's fortunate just to look at her own husband, Shawn "Jay-Z" Carter. His most inspired act as mogul and musician was a couple of years ago where he teamed up with the UN bought pumps to help supply potable water to an Angolan slum in sub-Saharan Africa, and then shot a documentary with MTV called Water for Life in 2006.

From that experience, Jay-Z has said "I come from Marcy Projects in Brooklyn which is a tough place to grow up, but this has shown me how good we have it...take it from me, you're not from the hood. You haven't seen people with no access to water. It really puts things into perspective."

Seriously, B? Obama isn't the only model for change to look toward.

Sea Change

2009-01-22T17:19:00.001-05:00

"We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness." - President Barack Obama, January 20, 2009.

I didn't have a ticket to the inauguration when I arrived in DC on Monday. I took the Metro from Silver Spring, heading to DC Metro area. Everyone on the train Monday afternoon seemed to sparkle and glow with the excitement and promise tomorrow would bring. Tomorrow would be the best day in a long time. Soft smiles, Obama buttons and pins. Three women boarded the Metro from Florida, grateful for the train and happy to sit down. One of the women who had walked around all day searching for tickets for the main event offered me her extra ticket. She said, "We were just praying that we find someone good that we should give this to." I almost cried. It was a new day. The most amazing random act of kindness ever. It reminded me of election night, that beautiful moment of relief and celebration.

Shivering and waiting in 20 degree weather, chatting it up with folks from Kentucky, Pennsylvania, Michigan, Ohio, Florida and South Carolina with a ticket that was gifted to me, I was grateful to be there. To share the cold, energy, anticipation and excitement with everyone was beyond words.

The inaugural address didn't disappoint. It had meat and bones. Pundits at present deemed some parts unremarkable, but I think history will recognized the heft of the address later. It was a clarion call. It was a clear demarcation of the sea change many of us seek in Washington and the manner in which government operates.

In Day One and Day Two, we've seen the resurrection of the rule of law. President Obama signed an executive orders to close Guantanamo, new ethics rules for White House staff, and freeze the pay of senior staff. He visited the State Department on Day Two and put a spotlight on diplomacy. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and President Obama have put an emphasis on steering national and international issue back on track that will hopefully lead to a lasting peace.

We joked on the mall during the inauguration that trumpet blasts between announcing Presidents, ex-Presidents, future Presidents, reminded us of Lord of The Rings: Return of the King. It kind of was like the Return of the King. After Aragorn was crowned king, he said, "This day does not belong to one man but to all. Let us together rebuild this world that we may share in the days of peace." Sound familiar?

America is growing up. 233 years young, in a challenging set of circumstances (2 wars, economic crisis, declining infrastructure, insert issue here), some of us were willing to write us off. Declare the end of the American century as byproduct of the Bush era. However, our generation, this post civil rights generation, post baby boomer generation is challenged to recommit ourselves to the best values of our nation. We the people, in order to form a more perfect union...

Change is dynamic. It is not static or simply a campaign slogan. It is active; in science, it is an agent to mix opposing materials to develop something new. It is the engine of creation. Growing up is change. We'll need to remember that over the next few years.

Goodbye Bush

2009-01-19T07:35:00.000-05:00

I can't stop watching this...

I needed a good laugh.

Malia Obama, Photographer

2009-01-17T15:07:00.000-05:00

The first daughter isn't about to let the job get to her head.

I hope she keeps this up during the entire presidency of her father. I think her pictures once released to the world, will be amazing. Her point of view in the eye of this historic storm will be revealing.

The Babbit and Bromide

2009-01-16T17:03:00.000-05:00

Still thinking about collaboration. I saw this awhile ago and it's still hot.

I'm a sucker for choreography.

In the Valley of the Dolls

2009-01-14T12:46:00.000-05:00

Dolls are a little freaky to me. A mini version of a real person. As a child we mimicked conversations and conflicts through dolls. Or for boys "action figures". It's the original self created third person narrative. The ancestor to Second Life. The virtual world to be a better you was in your imagination.

Then our love for celebrities. Their vapid stare in space, all statuesque and perfect. Us Weekly, People, feed us those images. I'm not immune. I buy Elle every 2 months to divine from the style gods what look I want to slip into for the upcoming season. Dress the part for a saucier version of me.

So in my digression again from working on the short story for my fiction group, I came across these pics.

I can feel myself getting into character now.

Bring the Noise

2009-01-14T10:50:00.000-05:00

I'm a fan of collaboration. Currently developing on a project for myself and with one or some of my multi-talented friends. More on that later. I came across Jaydiohead while procrastinating work on a short story.

Minty Fresh beats merged one of my favorite bands, with one of the greatest MCs of all time. I think I was in the locker room changing for 4th period gym when we the radio blasted Public Enemey and Anthrax collaboration. Take a listen.

I'm not mad it. It's kinda hot, even. Check 99 Anthems, No Karma, and Fall in Step.

Homer gets in your eyes...

2009-01-11T17:46:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure if or when Mad Men will return. The parallel between Don Draper and Matt Wiener was certainly not lost on any of us. However, in my time of need, I turn to youtube for answers:

I love this so much.

Ignorance is Bliss

2009-01-08T18:01:00.000-05:00

Ok.. I take it back about feeling bad that W.

Oblivion is bliss?

Fellowship of the Ex-Presidents

2009-01-08T17:18:00.000-05:00

Oh, to be a fly on that wall for that conversation...

But my absolute favorite is sitting president W's excitement in counting himself as a member of the ex-president's club.

But body language says a lot. I'm not sure why Obama and W. were centered the way they were. Carter the furthest away from Clinton for the photo op. Bush Sr. far away from Bush Jr, seperated by Obama. Like a child separating bickering divorced parents to keep the peace. In another video, as the photographers start to leave, and questions hurled at the presidents past, present and future, the awkward family dynamic persists, Clinton comments to W. about how much he liked the rug in the Oval Office. Carter stands and smiles longer, and is off to the far left of screen. Bush Sr. and Obama smile at each other. In the theater of American politics, it's nice to know that you can never really escape the awkward and dysfunctional family drama.

Things to Look Forward to in 2009

2008-12-26T15:22:00.000-05:00

For Starters:

1. January 20, 2009
2. Elizabeth Alexander's poem for the inauguration
3. Robert Downey, Jr. and Jamie Foxx in the Soloist
4. Literary debut of The Other Side of Paradise by Staceyann Chin
5. Everything Ravaged, Everything Burned by Wells Tower
6. Mad Men Season 3!

Viva La Vida

2008-12-21T18:21:00.001-05:00

I've been thinking a lot about this song lately.

I knew immediately when Coldplay released their latest experiment, with the album cover of the Delacroix painting and the storm the Bastille aesthetic that they were styled in, that something big, unnameable and epic was on the horizon for us -real americans- and the world. I remember listening to the opening opus thrilled yet melancholy by the rather upbeat and contradictory lamentable lyrics.

It occurred to me then that this was the subtle cultural response to the Bush Years. No? Think about it:

The song is persona piece of a historical figure, Herod, King of Jerusalem, before it collapsed under the rule of Romans and the subsequent crusades that dominated the ancient world. Considering the Bush years led to our own experience in a holy war. I don't need to summarize the last 7 years of what we've experienced -soldiers, civilians, Americans, the world, respect, etc.- but consider the losses we've had.

The election of Barack Obama sent people dancing in the streets. It was amazing to see humanity celebrate possibility.

But at the same time, I felt a little bad for W. Seriously. I certainly can't wait for the end of the Bush years. But I felt sad for him because he's that guy. It's like the song: "Revolutionaries wait, for my head on a silver plate". Granted, no one was storming the White House gate like it was the Bastille or anything nearly as bloody as the Delacroix painting. It was more like a peaceful manifestation of the Delacroix painting, the flag waving and the cheering, ecstatic mob outside of the castle waiting for the deposed king to leave.

The financial system collapsing adds another nuance to this culturally significant ditty. Watching the fall of giants such as Bear Sterns, Lehman, Washington Mutual, the auto makers, and the remix of a Ponzi scheme with Bernard Madoff seems to make the timing of the release of Viva la Vida hold a deeper resonance for our times in ways that I'm not sure they've even imagined yet.

Funny, huh.

Election 08

2008-11-09T23:04:00.000-05:00

Some images:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/13997301@N07/sets/72157610451036145/

Imitation of Life

2008-09-21T21:42:00.000-04:00

My write-in candidate for the 2004 election in an imagined meeting with Obama.

The Sky Is Falling

2008-09-21T17:07:00.001-04:00

Literally.

Many of my friends have wondered aloud, in countless conversations, is our way of life, sustainable? The jumbo mortgages, the SUVs, the student loans to cover the brand named degrees, the shopping, the consumption, the 'good life'. Is it sustainable? Can the economy continue on a limitless upswing, and we reap the benefits from such expansion in growth with the national debt rising, a two front war with an invisible enemy and rising prices for essential goods.

In 2007, Ellen and I sat outside at Nabu eating sushi, with cranes looming over our heads at the construction site of yet another luxury condo, and wondered aloud.

It can't be, she said. It's bloated beyond proportion. There must be more to living in the world beyond work for the idea of the good life. Something's gotta give.

In March, Bear Sterns buckled. Last week, the levees broke with Lehman, Merrill and AIG.

Main Street or the average man isn't entirely clear what's happening as it relates to them directly. With the constriction in the financial market, that's teetering on the brink of failure, one thing to be certain of is that when Americans are unable to borrow even more money for the good life: cars, homes, food, etc. the realization of the global economy will hit pretty hard.

No man is an island, chicken little.

Jason Bourne on Palin

2008-09-12T23:12:00.001-04:00

Yes! Somebody needed to say it.

Remembering September

2008-09-12T00:17:00.000-04:00

There's a quality of spectacular blue that September skies have. A deep azure that calms, soothes, and envelopes you. It's a blue that I look forward to seeing every year after days of air thick with humidity.

There's a smell the air gets in September, the smell of summer past her peak, the signal of time of harvest, where nature's fruit have reached its ripeness. And the air chills a bit, nips at your fingertips. You crave the comfort a light sweater. The smell of a possibility again. Beginning new again. Like the smell of school supplies, new clothes that children wear for their first day of school. Starting over. September, I can smell her in late August at dusk, when the sweltering heat breaks, the breeze caresses your arms, and the ripeness of summer subsides for something new to be born.

Because something else has started to die. Fruits fall off of trees, settle in the earth, a season has come to an end.

In September in New York, at dusk, twin columns of light pierce the sky. The twin lines of light are angelic against an indigo sky.

In September in New York, as I find a quiet joy in the smell of autumn approaching, I remember the smell from 7 years ago, when lower Manhattan was a cauldron, and the lost souls on that fateful day, the 2800+ victims, and how that space became sacred. An unlikely burial ground.

I remember them. I remember New York. I remember the 11th of September.

And we remember in our own quiet ways. Some of us were heading to work. Some of us were sitting in class. Calculus. Fluid Dynamic Physics. Some of us were supervising field operations on a construction site in the Soundview section of the Bronx. Some of us just finished voting for the next Mayor in the Primary. Some of us were on the subway heading downtown, uptown, crosstown. Some of us had just woken up. We were everywhere that day. And we remember.

What I’ve learned at the onset of the Second Coming in American Politics, Part 1

2008-08-25T22:49:00.000-04:00

A few things:
Namely, the second coming isn’t exactly what everyone expected. He can’t command the seas to part with a wooden staff.
He doesn’t turn water to wine.
He can’t raise the dead.
He doesn’t stutter. As a matter of fact, he’s the most loquacious and eloquent speaker of them all.
He’s a smidge darker than I originally imagined, yet a shade lighter than most.
He’s a shrewd politician and strategist.
He’ll make mistakes.

If the national stage is a microcosm for the rest of society, then at work, I’m watching the manifestation of generational struggles and long held wide beliefs of the intelligence and competence of African Americans by their white colleagues.

Example:
A coworker emailed me to ask me ‘Who’s side am I on?’ singularly. The project we’re working on is a joint venture between a Harlem based black owned company and Westchester based white owned company. I’m black and work for the Westchester company. The presumption is loaded in the question. As an obvious black person, I obviously fall on the black side.

I think she was rabidly pro-Hillary in the primary days.

Another question surfaces in the days to follow: What race is the admin on staff?
An answer in whispers: I think she’s Latino.
A snort in response: Same difference.

In this new world of American life and politics, there are still some miles to go before we sleep in the daily professional lives of working Americans. When we are we judge by character and performance rather than how we look?

The NYT magazine article from a couple of weeks foreshadows a period where an Obama presidency will not allow for any real or substantive critique of black America’s experience of discrimination or injustice as long as the Obamas are chilling in the Rose Garden. As if this singular, yet momentous reality in American history is prohibitive of rebuke or accountability. Generations of narrow-mindedness don’t dissolve overnight. It still lives in the ether. On both sides. Some of our most stalwart allies for equality still hold prejudices and presume an embattled attitude of ‘us’ versus ‘them’. And with a challenged economy, these attitudes that stem from a deep frustration of the current economic climate will worsen. I can only hope that it won’t be exacerbated by multi front military conflict in the Middle East and Asia.
I’ll more to say on that later.

Into the Fray

2008-08-25T22:34:00.000-04:00

Welcome to my blog.

Sometimes there are times to keep silent. Sometimes, you need to speak up. So here's my space. I'll share thoughts and images as they dance around my head.

I thank you for reading or your satisfying your idle curiosity.